I SEE COLOR

    I see color, I see the color in the sky, grass, water, the road, my hair, the tv, my favorite book, I see color. Surprisingly, it never phased me that I see color, growing up I lived in a predominantly black neighborhood but always went to schools that were diverse therefore, never confined to getting to know one race. But, it has now become a thing where now "race" is everywhere: on applications, tv, newspapers, etc. However, I have realized it has always been there but I have never noticed, and it wasn't that I never cared to notice but rather that it was never important to notice. I remember when I was younger being confused on what to check on applications and surveys that ask how do you identify yourself, because I identify as two races I am Puerto Rican and African American. I felt as though if I limit to one,  then I limit myself as a person. However, my parents always instructed me to check "prefer not to say" but really did I prefer not to say? I was always proud to be Puerto Rican and Black, but what I began to realize was that I was still considered to be just BLACK. Then it hit me, I was told to put "prefer not to say" for my best interest so people would not assume things about me before meeting me. 

It wasn't until I got to the point of life that I am now where I see that race still matters. It has become something that matters to me a lot more because of the things going on in the world between police shootings, school shootings and just life ; it has become more evident that the topic of race has yet to decease. I realized that it was something that bothers me once I began to notice a sense of discomfort  when driving by a police vehicle that stopped a black man. I found myself paying attention to where the cop has their hands, half  of the time I see them have their hand placed on the weapon while they were getting out the car which always leaves me with a pit at the bottom of my stomach. And, I am aware that it's not a good thing that I feel this way about it,  it's something that I want to change but how can I in a society  that won't change it's own views? I see color, you see color, we all see color, but what if the color wasn't there what would we see next? I see color, that's not something I am proud of. I see color but the difference is that it's something that I want to change, the question is do YOU?